Reading time: 7 min
This is part 1 of the 4-week series. If you missed the intro, check it here.
Agency - How to Win It
There's this old story about two frogs that fall into a pail of milk.
One frog looks around, sees no way out, gives up, and drowns. The other one doesn't know how to get out either. But keeps kicking all night long. By morning, the frog turned the milk into butter and climbed out.
High agency is that persistent kick.
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So, what is AGENCY, really?
As George Mack puts it: High agency is the belief (and action) that you shape your circumstances rather than being shaped by them.
Simply said, high agency is when you find a way, low agency is when you find an excuse. You know the saying ‘it's better to ask for forgiveness than for permission’ - that's agency in a sentence.
If you want to go deeper on this (and I recommend you do), check out highagency.com (it's a valuable resource).
Where does this come from? (Some science behind it)
This isn't just a trendy word. There are decades of research behind it.
Julian Rotter (1966) introduced the concept of Locus of Control - the belief about whether outcomes in your life are driven by your own actions (internal) or by external forces (luck, fate).
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Albert Bandura (1997) built on this with his Theory of Self-Efficacy - the belief in our own ability to succeed in specific situations. It's more like ‘do I believe I can actually do it?’. Four things feed self-efficacy: past performance, watching others do it, encouragement from people around us, and our own emotional state.
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👉 If you want to read more on this: Self-efficacy: The theory at the heart of human agency
You'll also find this thread in Carol Dweck's Growth Mindset and Angela Duckworth's Grit (which I love, check the TED Talk)
And here's a cool bonus: a recent study found that people who score high on personal agency and social connection have the lowest levels of loneliness.
Ok, enough theory. Bias to action is one of the pillars, so let's get to the HOW.
Step 1: Know where you are
The General Self-Efficacy Scale (GSE) is a 10-question assessment that measures the ability to handle new or difficult situations. You can do it right now with any LLM.
Here's the prompt to use:
I want to take the General Self-Efficacy Scale (GSE) by Schwarzer & Jerusalem. Please guide me through the 10 statements one at a time. After I finish, calculate my total score, tell me what it means, and suggest 2-3 specific areas I can work on.
Step 2: Let's build the HOW together.
1. Stack evidence
Past experiences build belief.
Log small wins daily (or weekly if that's more realistic). But not gratitude journaling. Real evidence. "I did X, and it worked."
Note for my high achievers: small wins count. "I stretched for 5 min" is a win, even if your brain says "That was nothing, you should have done more".
Go one step further: dig into the successes vault. That exam you passed, that presentation you nailed. Write it down. That's proof our brains tend to forget.
2. Find your frog
The frog who kept kicking from our story.
Find people in your circle who are proof of what's possible.
Be honest: if a friend finishes a marathon, doesn't that make you feel like you could too? We tend to romanticize strangers and assume they're built differently. Maybe they are. Or maybe they just have a better strategy. Find the ones near you who finished the marathon (whatever marathon means to you).
3. Unfreeze
When overwhelmed, do a brain dump. Put everything that's keeping your mind stuck on paper. Then sort it: DO (this week/month) + PARK (not now, maybe later) + DELETE or DELEGATE.
As simple as this sounds, it works. And I bet we all forget to do it.
4. Define the minimum
Set the smallest actions that make a day count. Even when everything goes sideways, there is something small to do to save the day: read for 10 min, exercise for 5 min, drink a cup of tea without looking at my phone.
It's not about productivity. It's about building accountability with ourselves, that no matter what, we’re on our side.
5. Strategic solitude
Spend intentional time alone. Walk without headphones. Sit in silence. Let the mind wander without giving it a task.
This is making room for the calm space where we stop being reactive and start being intentional.
I DARE YOU list
To make it even simpler, pick 2 to do this week.
Pick something new to learn. Spend 10 min a day on it for 7 days.
Identify a problem that stresses you. Think of someone you consider high-agency. Write down 3 things they would do in your situation.
For the next 3 days, don't check your phone for the first hour after waking up.
Message someone you've been postponing, even if it’s uncomfortable.
For 3 days: if you catch yourself opening social media, you have to write one sentence about something interesting first. Produce before you consume.
Move your body intentionally 4 times this week.
Say "I'd prefer this" or "I believe this" 3 times in the next 5 days. (For my people pleasers.)
That thing you've been 'thinking about' for more than 2 weeks? Decide on it today.
Make a plan for your next 3 months. Not perfect. Just written.
Track where your time actually goes for 3 days. No judgment, just data. (You can build an app for this - check last week's post)
TIP: Agency isn't always a solo sport. Share the journey!
Event in a Box, AI for events
Speaking of making things happen… I've been organizing events for years- professional conferences, workshops, dinner parties. I know how much of the process can be automated, and how much support AI can provide for someone doing it for the first time.
So I created an AI that helps with your first workshop or just a casual dinner party. Give it a brief, and it knows what to ask you. No need to think about the details.
No code, as always.
ALL details on how to do it yourself: https://silvia-carasel.notion.site/event-in-a-box
A preview
Have an amazing week, full of agency,
Silvia
